So, I have 153 days sober today. I have been attending meetings since the 1st of the year, and a few weeks ago finally found a sponsor. Yesterday he decided he “could not work with me” because I had some questions that he either could not answer, or did not care to think about enough to answer. I was fully committed to working the steps, and his first plan was to simply read the big book aloud, trading paragraphs. As we came to certain parts, I expressed my lack of understanding about a few things. So when it comes to a “higher power” I expressed that I was Buddhist and therefore did not believe in God in the sense that the founding members of AA did (ie: the Christian God). But I explained that the interdependence of all humans, meaning the fellowship of AA members, and the power of working the steps was what I considered to be a power greater than me. I don’t think he understood that, being a Christian himself. But he, as I have heard many people in AA say, proclaimed that “this chair” as he gestured to a chair, could be my higher power. To which it seemed that basically one is relying on a higher power as a source of encouragement until one had worked the steps and found the strength through the community and the power of taking inventory and making amends. Apparently this was not good enough because he basically told me that as we worked the steps, hopefully I would change my mind. This was one week ago yesterday, and when I called him to plan our usual meeting before a meeting, he told me that he had talked to some guys in our group, and his sponsor and decided he could not work with me. This was disappointing, as I had found a power greater than myself in this group, and was fully immersed and set to work the steps. So perhaps some of you could shed some light on why this is a problem, because basically I have gotten nothing but blanket statements and black and white thinking on the subject from a few AA members including my now ex-sponsor. I appreciate it.
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