At the end of my using and drinking, in the terminal phase, I was very much inclined toward isolation. I didn’t feel connected to the people in my life, the few that remained. I didn’t feel like I could open up to them and I wasn’t comfortable spending time around them. After all, they weren’t […]


It always starts the same way. Something, some small thing, goes wrong. No alarms go off, no immediate action is needed, but a fuse is lit. Construction has begun. A mole hill will soon become a mountain, and then, in time, a volcano. Anyone nearby would be well served to evacuate the area immediately. It’s […]

Serenity Now

God, grant me the.. what now? Serenity? When I first heard someone mention serenity in these rooms, I wasn’t sure what to think. It seemed like such a lofty goal, and if I’m being honest, a bit of a reach. Maybe these people had figured out a way to white-knuckle it through life, just barely […]


“Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn’t belong.” ~ TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 57 What a strange world. Never feeling like you’ve belonged anywhere until entering the four walls of A.A. Yet, inevitably, when the meeting ends, […]

On Gods and Dogs

I don’t think I’ve mentioned my best friend in this blog before. I’m sure you don’t know her. She doesn’t speak much English and doesn’t have any troubling addictions. She isn’t in recovery as we are, she hasn’t read the Big Book. She’s never attended a meeting, doesn’t know what they’re about, and probably wouldn’t […]