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More About Alcoholism

I have read the Alcoholics Anonymous book “The Big Book” several times over and have spent countless hours pondering and relating to the ideas in it. Bill W., one of the AA founders, was the author of the majority of it. Being new to recovery and accepting the fact of alcoholism as a disease can be a hard concept for many newcomers to grasp. Although the entire book, the first 164 pages especially, are excellent relevant reading for the newly-sober person or for those pondering if they are truly alcoholic – I feel that none of the text relates quite as well as “More About Alcoholism” for the newcomer. You can read the chapter here – More About Alcoholism. “Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he ...

Came to Believe

This is such a difficult concept for some to take, myself included. I was born and raised as a Sunday and Holiday’s Catholic as a child and the Catholic faith left a bad taste in my mouth. I thought they were all hypocrites. And I was right. None of us are perfect – people in church included. I had no idea that there was a difference between religion and living life on a spiritual basis. “To one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic such an experience seems impossible, but to continue as he is means disaster, especially if he is an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face.” – Big Book pg 44 “We Agnostics” I was certain of one thing. I was desperat...

Made a Decision

Our lives are full of daily decisions – some critical, some not so critical. Some have lasting impacts. Some don’t. Each are treated differently depending on the situation and various other factors while other decisions are instinctual. For example, I discovered that I always put my left leg into my pants first when I get dressed. This is not a critical decision or anything that I give a lot of thought to. But my life first thing in the morning while getting dressed would feel quite out of place if I, all of a sudden, decided to start putting my right leg in first. In my drinking, I admit that I made a lot of important decisions without careful thought. Decisions such as drinking and driving. Most of the time, when drinking, my decisions were poor ones. Step 3 – “Ma...

Disease of mind and body

I recall distinctly, after going out on another binge, my wife and in-laws asking me, “I don’t understand, when your life and family and all you love is on the line, why you CHOOSE to drink.” The truth is, I didn’t understand it either. It was unexplainable. I had been in the program of AA for over a decade, with several long stretches of sobriety, and I still didn’t fully understand my alcoholic behavior. Going back a few days before the conversation above, I was about 90 days sober – again. I escorted my wife and kids to a family wedding reception. There were two kegs of homemade craft beer in ice tubs on both sides of the door going into the house. I saw several people grab a glass. It was quite warm out and I recall vividly the condensation dripping ...