I’ve dealt with depression, among other mental health issues, for most of my life. Having been in counseling since the age of seven, I’m fairly sure that my alcoholism and drug use weren’t the root cause of this, though they certainly contributed later in life, and they certainly made things worse. It seems that a […]
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The Wisdom to Know the Difference
Like most middle-class, suburban Americans, I was raised on a healthy diet of exceptionalism. I believed, without a doubt, that my life had some greater meaning. I may have suffered humble beginnings, but I was certain that in the end, I was going to make it big. A rock star, perhaps? I was, probably, the […]
The Welcoming Committee
I’ve been at this for a long time. Not as long as many others, of course, but half of my life has been spent in these rooms. You wouldn’t know it from looking at me — well, you probably would, but let me have this — but I’ve put in more than twenty years attempting […]
That’s a Big “If”
“… and I’m an alcoholic.” It took me a long time to say those words, and even longer to mean it. I’m not sure if alcoholics are contrarian by nature, even if we are typecast as a rowdy, incorrigible bunch. Perhaps it’s something a little more specific to me. Having been raised with little to […]
Forever is a Long Time
Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. AA’s […]
It’s Time to Leave the Capsule if You Dare
I’ve always looked up to astronauts, even if I consider them to be brave and foolish in equal measure. They aren’t just tough — they’re smart, and courageous. They further the cause of science and advance the nature and purpose of the human race. They brought us Velcro, those pens that write upside-down, and that […]
This is fine.
I try not to let alcohol’s dominance of the cultural zeitgeist get to me. I used to drink socially, many moons ago, and I didn’t always abuse it. There are a lot of people out there who can drink without turning into an alcoholic, I get it. The marketing of alcohol in our culture is […]
Feeding the Donkey Spongecake
“He would say that God had given him a tail to keep the flies off, but that he would sooner have had no tail and no flies.” (Orwell, Animal Farm) There’s a saying in Brazil — I write this as if I’ve ever been to Brazil, or as if I speak Portuguese, or have some […]
The First Day of the Rest of Your Life
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.” Until you’re ready to make an honest attempt at recovery, Alcoholics Anonymous’ first step seems trivial. I didn’t take it all that seriously the first, or second, or tenth time I’d heard it said at a meeting. Why are you even […]
I Am Responsible
“My stability came out of trying to give, not out of demanding that I receive.” (The Best of Bill, pg. 46) When we welcome someone new into these rooms, it’s kind of an exciting thing for those of us with some experience in AA. That may sound odd — it’s not like we’re happy to […]